Back Off!

I love shopping. I admit it, fully and openly. What I do not love is the zealots that run the mall kiosks. I've tried being nice, but it gets me nowhere. They don't take no for an answer, though I've told them endless times I'm not interested in pink straightening irons, bulghur-filled neck pillows, or (gasp!) moving printed beach scenes in a lamp/picture/keychain.

So last night I'm in the mall, trying to finish Christmas shopping so I don't have to go anywhere near the slow-walking crowds who will soon descend. I'm walking past a kiosk. Now, when I walk past kiosk, I make some deliberate "Don't talk to me!" moves and use as much body language as possible. First, I look at the person in the eyes, look down, and purposefully break eye contact. Next I visibly veer off my path toward the edge of the mall, away from the shady gift-monger. Appearantly this is not enough.

Despite my dodging the guy last night verbally accosted me: "Ma'am, can I ask you a small question?" Instead of self-proclaimed witty banter of how many letters are included in a small question, I said forcefully "No." Still, he did not relent. And this almost made me laugh out loud. He said "Ohhh" like he was sad. "It's a really good one."

Now, what might be a really good question from a man standing in front of a kiosk selling pink and white zebra-printed straightening irons? I guess I'll never know. I kept walking.